Ewelina Frackowiak: reflection for March 13, 2011

Ewelina Frackowiak gave the following reflection at the 7:30 University Mass at St. Joseph’s Parish:

I have always admired Jesus for this: he had a clear vision what God’s will was in his life. He knew what to do and where to be, he knew that his job was to teach and he knew to whom he had been sent: (“I have not come to coddle the comfortable, but to set trapped people free for a new life” Luke 5: 32). More than that he did not allow religion or politics to obscure the sense of God’s will. Religion is for people, not people for religion. You should give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God. And, finally, he was so confident in his leadership role that he would invite us boldly: “Follow me”, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” OK, I want to know where this boldness came from. I also want to have the sense what God’s will is for my life. In every moment of my life, I want to know what I should do, where I should be.

Today’s Gospel solves the mystery of the source of Jesus’ confidence. His self-confidence has to do with his desert experience, with the ability to be alone, to be in silence. My friends, think about a desert as a state where you are free to be who you are – you do not allow expectations from a society to influence you, you do not care about what a society thinks success is. You actually do not need the word success in your vocabulary at all. In your desert-state you are what the Nature, what God intends you to be – you are true to yourself. Take a moment now and think about activities in your life in which you get yourself involved in order to please somebody, to fulfill some expectations or to win approval. Now focus on the moments in your life when you were engaged in job that you love to do. Next, contrast the feeling that arises within you when you are accepted, applauded with the feeling of self-fulfillment when you are doing something you thoroughly enjoy. I will ask you today – be aware of the nature of your actions – be honest to yourself what their motives are.

Entering a desert, that is entering the solitude, is an experience that will bring self-knowledge. Left alone you will ask yourself what you are, what is the “you” which you have at your disposal. Jesus must have sought self-knowledge in his desert, too – let us accompany him in this experience. Please ask yourself this question: who am I? Am I just my body? Certainly not – we know that our cells are constantly dividing, dying and renewing; my body (in terms of its cellular content) was very different just 6 weeks ago! And Jesus knew his body was not who he truly was. “One does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes forth from the mouth of God” – we heard today.

Am I my life? Am I a Lord of my life who can play with it, stop it and restore it? Certainly not. I do believe there is a Creator and that my life is a gift from Him. Life is then bigger than my limited idea of what “me” is. I should have respect for my life – for every life – and I should trust the Creator (“You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test.” – said Jesus.)

Do all my possessions, my social status, or my job define who I am? All what I have can perish, I may change a career, I may loose my social status – but I will be still me, right? I do not want to be a servant of my status and I do not want to be so preoccupied with what I have that I would spend all my energy on securing my possessions or gaining more. There is more in my life than what I have. “The Lord, your God, shall you worship and him alone shall you serve – said Jesus after he refused to accept the gift of all the kingdoms of the world. 

I am afraid this little meditation about who we are tells us more about who we are not. We are not our body, we are not Lords of our lives, neither are we just students, nor just Catholics, neither just poor, nor rich. None of these labels defines you. When you understand this you will find true humility and love. You will see life as it is, you will know what you should do, what you should say. Like Jesus knew himself, you will know yourself. You will be ready to be what God intends you to be.

Ewelina Frackowiak